I have been struggling lately with the idea of change. Of positive motion. Of doing things in my life that are different than what I’m accustomed to doing because life can get stagnant in so many ways. I am struggling with this because I have come to the conclusion that I have stagnated in some areas of my life, and my “Whens” and “One days” are never going to get off of their butts unless I get off of mine. So I’m shaking some things up.
Some I won’t write about because they’re not meant to be written about. Others, I’ll freely share, such as today’s announcement:
I’m moving my blog. I’ve registered the domain JasonMuses with Blog.com and have set up a mirror site that will become my permanent home in January 2012. Until then, I’ll be simul-blogging (posting both here and at the new joint) in an effort to give the readers and subscribers I do have ample time to make the change and offer their input.
That’s the first announcement.
The second announcement is I plan to release at least two more books: the first is my memoir about my daughter Ruthanne, and the second is a collection of spooky stories that I wrote when this blog was just a place for me to post my short fiction. I hope to have both up and out the doors on Blurb by Black Friday (hint, hint). I’m also going to explore what it would take to get my books not only listed on Blurb, but Amazon and Barnes & Noble as well.
I was galvanized into all of this by, of all things, the announcement from the doctor this morning that my daughter’s eardrum had burst overnight. Ella was up all night last night complaining of pain (which is usually not her style; she is a warrior-princess that normally only says something hurts when it’s about to fall off or explode), and like an idiot, I didn’t think it was a bad as she made it out to be. And when she spent this morning playing goofily with Jon and I on my laptop, I was pretty sure she was just milking a little irritation for some major attention.
What a stupid I am.
Not only is the eardrum completely ruptured, but they had to give her two powerful antibiotic shots, one in each leg, to try and blast out the infection that has simply been malingering in her ears for the past three months. The injections went deep, and were terribly painful, and she’s at home now recuperating, facing a future of even more shots – the doctor’s are now convinced there is an allergen that is triggering these episodes, possibly an environmental allergen (like something in our house), and we need to do extensive tests (read: between 1 and 1,000 – literally) to determine just what’s going on in order for her to get well and stay well.
Rachel called to tell me this today and I was just flabbergasted – I’d said the same basic thing as a joke to a friend of mine earlier this morning, and here I was receiving it as truth. My daughter is hurting. And I need to do something about it.
It’s amazing how your children can prompt action within you that you wouldn’t otherwise take. How they inspire you to dream and dare larger than you would on your own. I’m not going to make a fool out of myself and tell you what I plan to change, but I will say that it sits deeper in my heart than almost any conviction that came before it (on matters of personal action, not larger, universal truths; though you could argue that for the Christian, they’re one in the same…but that’s another blog entirely).
Suffice it to say, I’m stepping out in faith, not fear. And I really, really hope you’ll follow me on the journey.